My God Given Name

by Flora Chol

I want to start the day with a new name

A new name for a new day

Don’t call me strong

A name that says I am here to stay

Say my name

Don’t call me a strong black woman

Call me soft

Call me delicate

Call me precious, plant kisses on my forehead

And gently lay me down on a bed of moss and roses

Though all I may know is a bed of thorns on nightmares of anxiety

My sleep will now be nothing short of tranquil

Call me by my God Given name

Don’t call me strong

Today I affirm that I am imperfect and perfect in all that I am

I am the final product of the hopes and dreams of the ancestors

Who moved kingdoms

To make Queendoms of us so that we may birth generations

To sing a new anthem

An anthem of my new name

For I am not here to tame or to be tamed

I am here in my full glory

Raging and roaring to unleash all that’s been hidden within so that I could fit

Call me by my God Given name

Let your tongue twist and turn till the vowels and constants

Iron out the unfamiliarity on your tongue

so that when my name rolls of the tip of your tongue with ease

I will stand and answer to my God given name

Don’t call me strong

I want an existence of peace

And I will still slay the beast if you tell me that all I am is strong

I may be in a season of traitorous rains

Raging storms and rugged terrains

But I will answer to my new name

I will answer to my God given name

I will not dare look at feet

I will unbow my head

I will not accept defeat or the fear that has been falsely placed upon me as my destination

I will emerge from the ashes of my fears with flames of hope

I will honour my shame

I will honour my pain

I will honour my name.

This piece is the first of four written works to be published as part of Peril’s No Compass collective. No Compass Collective are creative way-finders: navigating the future by understanding the past, with creatives and thinkers from Asian Australian Studies Research Network; It’s Not a Compliment; Peril Magazine; Meld Magazine; Southern Crossings; Teh Cha; and Writing Through Fences.

The project builds on the idea of “diaspora as methodology”, deploying diaspora as a political verb rather than administrative noun, to challenge the idea that diverse communities are “hard to reach”, instead considering them “easy to love” and challenging the justice of health, social, community and other systems.

This project has been supported by Multicultural Arts Victoria.